so. just a thought: it's so weird how people can have such different relationships. like, the friends i made so long ago, whom i consider my closest friends, i dont share quite as much with the most recent friends of my life. part of it has to do with just the way i was when we met and maybe a possible need to keep up that vision of myself. i mean going off to college i could start over, and be whatever personality i wanted. ya know? so i could talk about sex and drinking and whatnot with these strangers better than my best friends. maybe it's because i'm not as afraid of what they think of me, or how they'll react. maybe it's because i'm partly ashamed of things i've done. but what i want most is to be able to share the most intimate things of my life with those i truly hold closest to my heart. so i'm going to try really hard to be more open about these things. i hope you wont find them too uncomfortable, or awkward. i mean it's understandable and i'm still awkward about sharing certain things. i take after my dad a lot, often try to be stoic. but in reality i need people to share things with, and am very emotional. lol. i cry at everything! seriuosly, hallmark commercials or extreme makeover home edition get me going like a faucet! sorry for the extreme emotion in this post...just kind of finally felt like something needed to change. :)